O is for Overheard at RT

As I've mentioned a couple of times now, I spent five days in Chicago last week for the Romantic Times Convention (RT).  It is the most intense conference I've ever been to.  It's long, I'm not going to lie, but it's pretty darn fun, too.  There's a complete schedule of YA-focused events, and more authors than you can shake a stick at.  Seriously, I tried, but the entire ballroom was full of authors for the book fair at one point, and no matter how hard I shook my stick, I just could not encompass all of them.

I returned with spoils of war.  Books, swag, new friends, and memories.

I also returned with a collection of quotes.  Things Overheard at RT.  Some of it is great writing advice, some of it is probably only funny if you were there, and some of it is downright inappropriate.  For that reason, I'm not giving attributions to any of them.  No infringement intended to the fabulous authors who shared their time and wisdom with us.  If you really want you name put next to your quote, please let me know.  Otherwise, all will remain anonymous to protect the not-so-innocent.  You know who you are.


The Good

"Set out to write the worst book you possibly can."

"You're going to have to edit it, like, a million times until you wanna throw up."

Q: "What's your greatest strength as a writer?"
A:  "It's really so hard to pick just one, but I'd have to say my incredible beauty."

"A hundred pages and all they did was go down the road."

"You have to be willing to sacrifice anything for the good of the story."

"Your character in Act 1 should not be ready for the events of Act 3."

"My feelings on the editorial letter can best be summed up by the two-word Bible verse, 'Jesus wept.'"

[On procrastination] "I let it overwhelm me until my guilt becomes unbearable."

"The only thing worse than being a writer for me is not being a writer."

"You must put your butt in the chair and sweat."

"If you're meant to be a writer, you'll make it happen.  If you're not, you'll make excuses."

1:  "In YA, you characters don't have to stay together forever."
2:  "Mine do."

[On the age difference between immortal men and the teen girls who love them in YA] "It is in inherently creepy."


The Random

"I'm off like a crazy sloth."

"It's no spoiler that I kill."

"Did he just say bag of weed?"

"We're way more immature than any of the teens here."

"You kiss like a Barbie doll."

"There's something very soothing about chopping things up."

"I strongly recommend a snorkle."

"I have a lot of nightmares...and I cherish everyone of them."

"You could have worn a costume, like, Steampunk...or Scottish with squirrels."

1: "I should have had you get me one."
2: "What?  A squirrel?"

"Maybe we should run away."

"That depends.  How badly you want to play Spoons and eat candy?"

"When you're on your deathbed, you'll be thinking, 'Damn, I wish I would have danced with Cole--and now I'm dying!'"

"Is that a squirrel in your pants or are you just happy to see us?"

"If you can't work Poor Dead Mr. Pamuk into your next manuscript, you're just not trying."

"Could you maybe get one picture of yourself somewhere other than at that bar?"

"I think I have to run some of the alcohol out of my system."

"I want to tell her I like her costume, but I'm afraid it's not a costume."

"Are you Russian?  You look Russian."

"I told you I married a tycoon."


"Come find us. We're breaking into parties and stealing booze."


The Naughty

"Five penises in the hand is worth...oh, it would be bad if I finished that!"

"Heh-heh.  You said moist."

"I will not grope myself in public."

"If it's coming out of your panties, you keep it."

"Sometimes, I open my mouth, and bad things come out."

"I like the Butt Game."

"No boob dollars."

"Hmm, I don't understand this pony play thing, perhaps I will in another year when I am nine."

"I read Flowers in the Attic and so far, my feelings toward my brothers have not changed."