About "Real" Superpowers

Even though I'd love to be an all-around empowered kind of girl, like Superman (as I've blogged about before), I know it's not possible.  But I still believe that everyone has a superpower or two.  They're just not the kind that comic books are made of.

My superpower is memorizing.  Not so much the useful stuff, but the trivial.  In particular--song lyrics.  They stick like glue.  Songs from my childhood.  My mom's childhood.  Hell, my grandfather's childhood. If I've heard it, I've still got it.  My son has come to rely on me to have all of the songs from his favorite shows and movies memorized.  He gets irritated when I don't.  He also gets irritated when I can't recite his bedtime books from memory.  I'm getting close, but my God, give a girl a chance.  It's the entire bibliography of Dr. Seuss just for starters.  (Current challenge:  The Lorax.)

If I were an X-Man, my name would be Memorasma.  Or maybe Recall.

My husband, on the other hand, has a different superpower.  You know when you're watching a show and you think "Hey, isn't that that guy from that thing?" or "Man, she looks familiar."  My husband actually knows who that is.  Almost without fail.  He can even recognize people who were child actors.  Just last week we saw an episode of the show Raising Hope (never saw it before) and he said, of one of the main female characters, "She was the daughter from Parenthood."

All I could do was blink at him.

A quick search at IMDb.com confirmed his diagnosis, and also informed us that the movie came out in 1989.  How the hell did he recognize her 22 years later?  I don't know.

So as long as you're not real determined to save the world, superpowers can be found without much trouble.

What's yours?

- Liz

More About Me Monday - Stupid Human Tricks Edition

I found an article about things that most people can't do, no matter how hard they try.  (This is the article, if you're interested.)  I've heard these called Stupid Human Tricks, and I think it's because people look so stupid trying to do the things they can't.  Those who can only look marginally stupid.  Or really cool, in the case of my number one stupid human trick.

So here's my list of Stupid Tricks:

1. Raise one eyebrow.  Only the left, but I'm darn good at it.

2. Licking my own elbow.  I practically get a tongue cramp doing it, but I can do it.

3.  Rolling my tongue.  Much to my non-rolling husband's dismay.

4.  Sneeze with my eyes open.  I've only done it while driving and it's not pleasant.

5.  Tickle myself.  On occasion, only along my ribs.  Very embarrassing if done in front of someone else.

6.  Touch my elbow to my opposite shoulder.

7.  While lying on my back, rest on my knees on my shoulders.   I can actually put them on the bed beside me, under my arms.

8.  Pat my head and rub my stomach at the same time.  And the reverse, actually.



What's your stupid human trick?


- Liz

My Not-So-Secret Shame

Remember this?



Well, that's me watching the replay of the Glee finale last night.


But here's why it's so weird:  I'm not all that invested in the characters on the show.  Don't get me wrong--I enjoy the show.  The characters are not without their charm.  But the reason I watch it is for the singing.


I. Love. Choirs.


And they make me cry.  Almost without fail.


I used to be able to control it.  I used to be in a choir, for God's sake.  A Swing Choir.  Which is a lot like a Show Choir or a Glee Club.  At the time, I would have fought you to the death for saying it was the same.  We wore no sequins!  We sang jazz standards!  We were acapella or accompanied by only one piano!  Our choreography didn't suck!  But, really, it was Show Choir.  And I used to be able to sing all those songs without bawling.


As the years have passed, I have slowly become afflicted with a need to cry whenever I hear beautiful choral music.  In fact, I see my own Swing Choir about once a year at a Christmas performance, and I spend the whole time glassy-eyed and quivery-lipped.  It's pathetic.


I cry in the car all during the Christmas season.  I cry virtually every episode of Glee.  I cannot explain it.


But I do have greater sympathy for that pathetic little Sanjaya fan than I did at the time.


Does Glee make you cry?


- Liz

Vacation All I Ever Wanted...

Tomorrow morning, I set off for a week at the beach.

Fear not, your normally sporadic blogger has scheduled a surprising number of posts to pop up in my absence.

I may not be around to read and respond to all of your comments, very quickly however, so bear with me and know that I'll be around shortly.

In the meantime, I leave you with the greatest how-to manual of all time:

- Liz

Mysteries of Children's Entertainment

I spend a lot of time watching preschool television and reading children's book to my son. If you just suspend disbelief a lot of it is palatable, and even cute. (Big shout out to Jack's Big Music Show and Maggie and the Ferocious Beast.)

But some of it is just too much for my psyche. I can't even talk about why adults think children like clowns. Clowns are just...never mind, I can't talk about it. I need to sleep tonight.

So, without further ado, I present:

THE TOP TEN MYSTERIES OF CHILDREN'S ENTERTAINMENT

1. Where the hell are Max & Ruby's parents?

2. Why is Caillou bald? For that matter, what kind of name is Caillou?

3. Why does Mickey wear shorts and Donald a shirt? Why do some cartoons wear clothes at all, while others wear none?

4. How did this creepy guy get a televisions show?

5. Why does Franklin (and the rest of his family) have names, but all his friends are named Bear, Skunk, Goose, and so on?

6. Why are all puppets not created by Jim Henson so creepy?

7. Why is there only one female Smurf? Do Smurfs reproduce like bees, with all the males serving one great queen?

8. Why is paranoid 1950s propaganda scare-fest Harold's Trip to the Sky still in print? And why does my son like it so much?

9. Why hasn't someone knocked Wow Wow Wubbzy out with a mallet, tied him up in a bag and tossed it into the nearest river?

10. If Dora has two perfectly good parents, why do they let her go wandering through the jungle alone all the time?

I know I'm just touching the tip of the iceberg.

What bugs you in children's entertainment?

- Liz